Conquering Social Hangovers: A Practical Guide for Kids, Teens, and Adults

Have you ever walked away from a live rock concert feeling completely spent? I have. As an Autistic adult who loves the energy of rock and metal music, I know firsthand how electrifying yet exhausting these experiences can be. And it isn’t just the concerts—attending a friend’s wedding can trigger the same overwhelming mix of sights, sounds, and social expectations. Whether it's your favorite band on stage, a lively wedding reception, or even a child’s birthday party, playdate, school event, extracurricular activity, or a sibling’s sports game—social hangovers are real for all of us.

Social hangovers occur when the cumulative effects of sensory, cognitive, and emotional input become too much, leaving us drained. This isn’t a weakness; it’s a natural response to a world bursting with stimulation. In this guide, I'll share the strategies that work for me while also offering practical tips for supporting kids and teens who might face the same challenges.

What Is a Social Hangover?

A social hangover happens when your senses go into overdrive during an event, and after it's over, you’re left feeling both physically and emotionally depleted. For children and teens, this might manifest as sudden tiredness, irritability, or even a reluctance to attend future events like school dances, playdates, or sports games. For adults, it can mean needing an extended period of quiet after an intense social gathering.

Why Do Social Hangovers Happen?

Sensory Overload

For those with sensory processing differences, busy events can sometimes feel like a sensory minefield:

• Concerts and Weddings: At a rock concert, the booming bass and flashing lights can be incredibly stimulating. That’s why I always wear my Flares noise reducing headphones to control the experience without missing out on the energy of the performance. Similarly, the joyful clamor and vivid decor at a friend’s wedding can sometimes be too much.
• Everyday Social Events: Think about typical settings for kids: a birthday party with clashing sounds and busy activities, a playdate with several children competing for attention, or even a school assembly where every sound and movement is amplified. Even extracurricular events or a sibling’s sports game can present a barrage of sensory input.

Cognitive and Emotional Overload

Beyond the physical sensations, social settings demand quick thinking and emotional management:

• Mental Juggling: Whether it’s deciphering multiple social cues at a party or keeping track of conversations during a school event, the brain is working hard.
• Emotional Investment: Trying to "fit in" at an extracurricular activity or remain engaged during a sports game can drain your emotional reservoir, leaving you or your child in need of recovery time.

Strategies to Prepare, Cope, and Recover

Before the Event: Smart, Thoughtful Preparation

• Plan Your Energy Wisely: If you’re planning to attend a loud concert or a bustling wedding—or if your child has a series of social events lined up like playdates, birthday parties, or school events—avoid overloading your schedule the preceding day. Reserve quiet, low-energy activities to build an energy reserve.
• Visualize and Rehearse: For young children, creating a visual social story that outlines the event—from a calm arrival area to a quiet retreat spot—can minimize anxiety. As an adult, I often mentally rehearse what the evening might entail (and what tools I might need, like my Flares headphones), which really helps reduce uncertainty.
• Build Your Sensory Toolkit: Equip yourself or your child with sensory aids. Keep noise-cancelling headphones, a favorite fidget toy, or a weighted blanket handy. While I rely on my headphones at both concerts and weddings, kids might find comfort in a small, familiar object or even ear defenders during a school event.

During the Event: Real-Time Management

• Take Regular Breaks: At any social event, plan short intervals to step away from the crowd. Whether it’s a quiet corner at a wedding, a break room at school, or even a calmer area at a birthday party, a quick escape for 10–15 minutes can reset your sensory overload.
• Locate Your Quiet Space: Many venues now have designated sensory-friendly zones. Identify these spots as soon as you arrive so that if things begin to feel overwhelming, you have a safe retreat.
• Practice On-the-Spot Mindfulness: Simple breathing exercises like the “4-7-8” method (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8) can be your best ally in the moment. This quick practice helps ground your mind and reduce stress, whether you’re at a high-energy concert or a cheerful school event.

After the Event: Recovery and Reflection

• Schedule Downtime: After a lively social scene—a rock concert, a wedding, a school event, or even a playdate—set aside a recovery period with low-stimulus activities. Enjoy a quiet day with gentle walks, calm music, or a favorite book. Make it a ritual to unwind your mind and body.
• Reflect and Adjust: Take some time to jot down what worked and what didn’t. Was the break room helpful at a birthday party? Did your sensory toolkit significantly ease the intensity of a sports game? These reflections can guide how you prepare for future events.
• Ease Back Into Socializing: Give yourself or your child permission to re-enter social settings gradually. There's no need to rush back into the frenzy until you both feel recharged.

Embracing Compassion and Flexibility

Understanding social hangovers is about accepting our unique sensory needs with kindness and flexibility:

• Pace Over Perfection: Celebrate every small victory, whether it's attending an extra half-hour at a playdate or staying until the end of a school event.
• Acknowledge Your Limits: It’s perfectly okay to leave a birthday party early or take a break during an extracurricular event if the stimulation becomes too much.
• Connect and Share: Discuss your experiences—whether with fellow parents, support groups, or friends who understand the challenges. Knowing you're not alone can be incredibly empowering.

Conclusion

Navigating a world rich in sensory experiences—be it at a rock concert, a friend’s wedding, or common social events like school, playdates, and sports games—requires a delicate balance of preparation, real-time management, and post-event recovery. By planning ahead, using effective sensory tools, and embracing the need for downtime, you can turn overwhelming experiences into manageable, even enjoyable, adventures.

About Devina: Devina is an autistic occupational therapist with over 17 years of experience working with children, specializing in behavioral regulation and neurodivergence. As both a clinician and a parent, she combines professional expertise with personal experience raising neurodivergent children who previously struggled with behavioral disorders. This unique perspective allows her to bridge the gap between science and real-world application, offering compassionate, evidence-based strategies that empower children to thrive.

Her book, From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation, provides actionable insights for parents, educators, and professionals looking to support children in building essential self-regulation skills. Available in multiple formats you can find it on Amazon. 

Devina also shares her knowledge through expert-led webinars, where she delivers practical guidance tailored to the needs of caregivers and professionals. Stop by her store to explore her latest resources, workshops, and training sessions designed to help children succeed in their behavioral development journey!